Change

Spring has sprung in Waco, Texas. I came back from spring break to blossoms on trees, green grass, sunshine, the smell of freshly cut grass, and shorts!

I love seasons. I seem to complain a lot in Texas because of the hot weather, and usually state that I "prefer cold weather". Reflecting on that a bit, I think it is not really that I love cold weather. I think I just love having 4 distinct seasons.

I love spring time for the reasons listed above. I love spring in Colorado because it means enjoying the change from winter clothes to summer clothes, pulling out flip flops and toe rings and packing up sweaters and boots for a few more months. I love springtime in Colorado as the afternoon skies fill with dark thunderclouds and a brilliant rainstorm blows in for a few hours, to leave the evening crisp, clean, and fresh. I love summer for the smell of coconut in sunscreen, long afternoons at baseball games, barefeet, bike riding, bbqs at night and long walks in the cool evening (at least that happens in Colorado!). In Texas, summer means snowcones, lazy afternoons at the pool, and more snowcones!

Fall brings about a whole new set of feelings: the anticipation of another school year and buying new school supplies (alas, no more for me!), fall colors and the bright yellow aspens that fill the Rockies, pulling out all the sweaters and storing up the flip flops, getting out the snowboard to wax and await another season. Winter comes with the beauty of the first snow, hot cocoa and cuddling up inside with a good book, Christmas time, sitting on top of a mountain and enjoying the silence and solitude before standing up and riding all the way down, pulling out knitting needles and old scarves and mittens.

Yeah for seasons!

So, the reality is, that I don't prefer the cold weather. I prefer the seasons. I prefer the change, the newness that comes with the transition of each new season.

And as I write that now, I wonder why I cannot feel the same way about the upcoming change and transition as the season of graduate school comes to an end. Not that I am not anxious to be done with traditional classes, tests, and papers; I look forward to some open evenings and reading for fun. However, I feel myself starting to stress out and worry about the unknown of the future. Instead of recognizing the differences that make a new season so great, I focus on the diffulty of letting old things go.

People who know me well will say that I struggle with change. It seems to affect the very core of me. I hate leaving a place (even if I have not fully loved or embraced it), I avoid saying good-bye, and I feel as though I am living in a grey area as I try to adjust to a new place.

How can I approach this new season differently? How can I wake up and say, "Spring has arrived! Time to put away the sweaters and get out the flip flops! Time to embrace a new season and all the uniqueness and beauty that it will hold!"