Greetings from Texas! After the overwhelming amounts of positivity from that last blog, I thought I'd take some time to write down some of the negative aspects of things that don't always mesh with me because I live in this state called Texas. The title of this entry has been coined by an Oregonian who works here at Baylor. The basic idea behind it is that if you are not from Texas, those who live here rather enjoy the fact that people who are not from here seem to have difficulty understanding and adjusting to life . It seems that they create things simply because they want it to be difficult for those of us from out of state to understand.So I'd like to take some time to talk about some of the "tex-isms" I have noticed since I've been here. I really don't mean to be down-grading to my new friends who are Texans. The beautiful thing is, I don't really think they will care...they seem to have a healthy enough ego to take some criticism.
1. The driving here is insane. Especially the semi-drivers. They seem to think that they are driving small-compact cars as they go in and out of traffic at break-neck speeds on the highways, honking their horns at you and causing all kinds of stress. The on and off ramps here are also crazy. They don't make any sense. Sometimes you are required to yield to the frontage roads, sometimes you are not required to, sometimes the frontage roads are one way, sometimes you have to watch out for traffic coming towards you as you exit. It is overall a disaster and while I seem to have mastered the driving from my apartment to Baylor, any adventures somewhere new either ends in curse words or tears. Neither is pretty. And guaranteed, if a Texan heard me saying all of this, they would just complain that I don't know how to drive. Argghhh.
2. The words might and could should never be used together in a sentence. For example...to use a sentence correctly one would say, "I might be able to go to the store" or "I could go to the store." You should never say, "I might could go to the store." Never.
Ever
3. It is the end of September. The weather should not be 100 degrees with a heat index of 106. Never.
Ever
4. Bigger is not always better. That goes for everything from hamburgers to t-shirts to the number of ribs you can fit on your plate or the size of antlers that will fit on the front of your truck.
That's probably enough for now. I hope that I don't really offend anyone...if I have I'm really sorry. Oh, and by the way, the picture on the blog is NOT a picture of Texas. It is a picture of Oregon sent from my friend Matt who lives there. Oh Oregon.
Sigh.
2 comments:
Hey missy
I walked the Race for the Cure with Mindi and Shaun today. She filled me in a bit on you. I hope the weather cools off a bit now that it's October. I'm glad to hear you're adjusting well. I'm sure life will only keep getting crazy, but you can do it! :)Blessings to you
Liana
Oh, my poor little Missy! I can just imagine those diesels bearing down on you, horns blaring... Your out of state plates are probably a bulls-eye to them. But hey that's life.
But your blog kinda hurt my feelings. For serious.
Remember, I grew up in Grand Prarie, TX. I was known to roam tha streetz (with a "z") on my Big Wheelz (again, with a "z").
Some things I don't like to keep with the theme:
1)Mint Tic-Tacs. Seriously. Disgusting.
2)Moldy bread. You get your turkey out, you find the mayo and the mustard. You decide between cheddar or american. Your stomach anticipates the orgy of flavor about to burst upon your taste buds. You grab the bread and BAM! A big fuzzy green thing ruins everything. Is there a more disappointing moment in life?
3)Morning breath. Mine or someone elses. Both are equally offensive.
4)Zima
5)Greeley
6)Drinking a Zima in Greeley
7)Bailing friends/family out of jail. It's 4 in the morning. You're stuck in this poorly lit room with molded plastic chairs that were so uncomfortable the airport sent them back. You were in such a hurry getting dressed, switching money around in your accounts to come up with the bail and figuring out how to get to the jail; that you forget to grab a book or a magazine to pass the time. You would leave and buy one, but you can't leave because if they call you and you miss it you'll have to wait even longer. Some jails take cash, some credit cards, some checks, some certified checks but none are the same. And then when the friend/family member finally gets released back into the wild you get the fun super awkward car ride home: "Sooo... how was the food... and stuff..."
A wise man once told me: never answer your phone after midnight; the person on the other end never has something to say that you want to hear.
8)When you go to cash your chips in at a casino and you have more than $1,000 in chips so the cashier has to call up to security for some reason. Oh wait... that is something I LOVE!! Wrong list.
9)Global warming
10)Global cooling
There you go.
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